They Gotta Feel You’re Real…

by Pete Godfrey · 13 comments

They Gotta Feel You’re Real…

When speaking from the stage, on a tele-seminar, face-to-face, or telling a story in your newsletter, blog, email or sales letter, one critical thing must occur for you to make an impact.

Without this critical occurrence, your sales will always remain flat.

What it is? Connection! Without connection, there is no trust, and trust is the BIGGEST barrier to any sale. So this means we have to strive, early on in our presentations to build trust. You do that with case studies, testimonials and stories. That’s what we do. But there is more to it than that. There must be a feeling of authenticity in you and what you’re saying.

It’s a hard thing to grasp, and to teach. So as usual, I’ve came up with a little saying that makes it easy. “They gotta feel you’re real.” Yeah I know, it’s brilliant! So just give me a second to wallow in your adulation. Okay, that was good. But I’m back, there’s work to do.

The lesson here is BIG so I’ll get straight to the point. They’ve got to feel a connection with you and feel that YOU believe your own rhetoric; that you believe in what you are saying; that you really are the person you portray, that you’re the real deal.

I don’t know about you, but I can spot a phoney a mile off. It’s hard to say what I don’t like; but it’s there, something nagging away at me. I feel it in my gut. Some say I’m intuitive and I guess in some ways I am. (My wife is even better, she IS an intuitive… and every time she has warned me about someone and I didn’t listen, I was burnt.) When I see a phoney, I get a feeling in my gut, a nervous quiver, and I know something is not quite right. It’s the same with your prospects.

So what’s the answer?

It’s a hard one. Kennedy puts it like this: “I realise that’s an intangible, so it’s hard to tell you how to mechanically manufacture it… but like art or pornography, you know it when you see it.”

Kind’a sums it up doesn’t it. But still, we have to answer the question, how do you make them feel you are real?

First up, you’ve got to be yourself. If you’re naturally outgoing and funny, fine. Be funny. If you’re an introvert, fine. Don’t do funny. Just be real. Don’t pretend.

Not everyone will like you; that’s a given. So be yourself, don’t go pretending you’re someone else. Let your prospects see the real you, tell real stories, let them into your life a bit, emotionally charged everything you say and write, and then, there will be connection… and only then will you have a chance at building trust and getting the sale.

SIDE NOTE: In October, I’m going deep into the art of storytelling at my Cash Characters Academy Workshop in Brisbane. I’ll keep you posted.

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About The Author

Copywriter, Sales Strategist - Pete GodfreyPete Godfrey, The Wizard of Words, from rebel without a clue to one of the most in demand and highest paid Copywriters and Sales Strategists in Australasia… all with the power of his emotionally charged words that sell… Discover the “Secret Weapon” to increasing your Sales and Profits by downloading the valuable report "The Ultimate Copywriting and Marketing Secret" While you're at it, follow Pete on Facebook

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Michael Curtis June 15, 2009 at 6:06 pm

Hey Pete,
Spot on, my partner and I have always known this is the secret to our success – it’s just great when experts like yourself back it up….I love all your articles, they’re always funny, down to earth, honest and full of great tips…
Keep sharing cos we feel like ya caring…LOL


Pete Godfrey June 15, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Hey Michael… I’m glad you’re enjoying my stuff and you can see I’m enjoying it too and that I actually do care about my readers. For me, anything I do has gotta be about more than just the money, I’ve got to actually enjoy it and believe in what I’m doing.

Being real is the key to standing out amongst the me-too copycats out there who just regurgitate other people’s stuff.

Good to see you apply it in your own business Michael!




Terry Barridge June 16, 2009 at 9:58 am

G’day Pete,

I’m gonna pinch your “they gotta feel you’re real” mate. I use other words and too many to get the same message across, that really sums it up. Thank you Mr Wizard.
Love your stuff.



Pete Godfrey June 16, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Good to see The Wizard’s Wisdom is not going to waste… glad you can use it Terry!


Rachel June 16, 2009 at 11:20 am

Hey Pete

Do you ever use pen names in your businesses? Some internet marketers recommend this in order not to dilute your “authority” in a niche market. ie if you’re an authority about “dwarf hamster care” it might affect people’s perception of you if you also have a niche website about “coin collecting” for example. Can we be “real” when using a pen name? What do you think?


Pete Godfrey June 16, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Hey Rachel, wheteher or not you use pen names isn’t the important thing here. What’s important is you let your personality shine through. If it’s a pen name, you need to develop a character, a personality, that will resonate with your audience. In October, I’m showing everyone how to do just that at my Cash Characters Academy workshop. Trust this answer helps.


Dean Kennedy June 16, 2009 at 1:56 pm

I love that about watching great speakers … some of them have some excellent ways to grab that connection and rapport almost immediately: it all just feels “congruent” to me.

And when it’s fake, it’s usually easy to spot. You’re right — when you don’t feel they’re real, the mind instantly wanders off and puts a brick wall between them and you.

Cheers, Dean


Pete Godfrey June 16, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Yep, you can pick them a mile off.

And Dean, thanks for your input at last weekend’s Private Wealth Group meeting; great stuff!


Judd Leverton June 16, 2009 at 9:40 pm

I guess some of the confusion lies in being told to “Fake it till you make it”. Perhaps a better line of advice would suit so that people are congruent with you they are, yet still convey an authority for what they are ‘presenting’?

Any suggestions Pete.


Pete Godfrey June 17, 2009 at 6:32 am

Hey Judd, you always get me thinking!

First, I think too many people race into teaching before they have actually “done”. I spent 5 or 6 years honing my chops before I did my first speaking gig. Maybe that was too long, I don’t know… but I didn’t want to feel like a phoney, I wanted a whole heap of runs on the board before taking the stage.

And second, getting back to your “fake it until you make it”… there are many ways you can take that statement. If it means you “see” yourself as the person you want to be and take daily action to get there, then this is good. If it means pretending you are something you are not in order to make money, well that sucks.

Whatever you do and whatever stage you are at in your career, the point is to remain yourself and be proud of who you are.

Trust this helps Judd…


Kevin Francis June 17, 2009 at 9:10 am


Well, as you say, don’t pretend to be something you’re not or claim something you can’t deliver on. All comes back to having something of genuine value to offer to people and being authentic in how you present that. You don’t necessarily have to be the “guru” to be able to provide value.

Copywriter Kevin Francis


Pete Godfrey June 17, 2009 at 9:51 am

Of course you are right Kevin… it’s not just the gurus (man I hate that word…when I think guru, I think of an old guy with grey beard sitting crosslegged in India). The point is to be okay with yourself, to be proud of who you are. When you feel this way, you’re not gonna pretend to be anyone else but yourself.


Judd Leverton June 18, 2009 at 12:13 am

Love your comment Kevin. Very helpful.

And you’re welcome Pete. Many people have commented that I have caused them to ‘think’, and in a good way. Perhaps it’s something I should develop – getting more people thinking. Actually I have plans on making you think some more Pete, but it’s not the right time or place just yet.

Till then,



Militant Marketing


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